Tips on shopping Goodwill, inconspicuously: PART TWO


8. Don’t ever give out your number. Ever. Not even if he’s kinda cute. It’s not worth it. Pick up boys in regular places like bars and in rush hour traffic, for Christ’s sake. Not at Goodwill.

There are two men I’ve encountered in Goodwill on a semi-regular basis.
One always walks up and says “I just wanted to tell you that you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen”. Then he turns around and walks away before you can even mutter a “thank you”. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t even mean it. I mean, I’ve experienced this One-Liner man twice, so if I were in fact the most ‘beautiful woman he’d ever seen’, don’t you think he would have remembered that he’d already told me this?! He was spotted at the Gallatin Goodwill and the Mt. Juliet Goodwill, FYI. He gets around.

I’ve run into the second guy THREE times over the past two years. He has a long ponytail and likes to show off what he’s buying. Whether it’s a leather jacket or a mop, I’m always somewhat jealous. He remembers my name and what i do for a living, and always walks away with his tail between his legs because I won’t go out with him. He’s been spotted at the Gallatin Goodwill, Hermitage Goodwill and Rivergate Goodwill.

That’s all I got

x’s and o’s and shoes and clothes,


One response to “Tips on shopping Goodwill, inconspicuously: PART TWO

  1. I have seen one guy at the Salvation Army on Charlotte about ten billion times, but I also used to see him on the nashville state campus a lot. I’m creepy that way. Anyway he looks like a young Trey Parker. love it.

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