this is a sad one, folks

I was planning on posting about Lee Mcqueen today, as I’ve finally had time to come to my senses about what he meant to me. Sadly, I discovered something much more personally heart breaking. Someone I loved died last month. I found out today through a google search that produced an obituary.

She wasn’t just a hairdresser. She was my friend. We would talk endlessly about dreams and hopes and fears and love. Hair came second to that. I have no photographs of her, nothing substantial to hold onto expect my long blonde hair.

She was simply gorgeous. The body of a woman 30 years younger and an international model in the 80’s. Her exterior was tough but she was fragile and sweet. I am bombarding myself with questions as to why I didn’t reach out to her, as I knew she was lonely. I didn’t return her last phone call, I didn’t answer when she mistook my phone number for my mother’s. So many regrets with a woman I hardly knew outside of a hair salon.

For four years she told me I needed to be in a big city, doing big things. I now believe her. I never want to take for granted another single thing in the rest of my years.

Rest in peace, Adair. I am so glad I knew you, hugged you, and will remember you always.

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